i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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