You're my little dorito
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize