honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize