How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize