im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
