Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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