The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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