So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
