So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
