it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he fucked my hip out of place.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
