Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
