Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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