I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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