I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
