We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
