I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
did you just send me my own nude
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.