Will you blow on my dice?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know