I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
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his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
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Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you