Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
