How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
