we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Houston, we have a squirter
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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