what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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