She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
