so explain again why im purple
no
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
operation have a gay friend backfired
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
