i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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