i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
