Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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