just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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