it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
