Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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