You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Too much gin, very little bucket
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize