well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We talked him into tasing himself.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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