Already got asked if we're dating
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
