Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
