The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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