I should be sponsored by Trojan
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This baby is an asshole
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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