I think I am morally bankrupt
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
