"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Boobs are out for the taking
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
