i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
