The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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