if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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