she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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