my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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