nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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