The maid of honor just puked.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
