tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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