You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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