actually, I'm a sock model
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
