# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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