I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
