If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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