he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So many bounce houses so little time
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I look excited, but its just a facade.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
