a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
