I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
