Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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