I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
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No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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