He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
