You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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