im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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