Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
