Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
