I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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