Whod you bang
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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