those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
