I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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